Let´s get ready to date again.

When you decide to go back to the single life, and after you feel like you´re ready to start dating again, normally you start looking forward to meet new people.  First, you need to start by loving yourself, you would probably start going to the gym just to be in better fit, you will visit a beauty salon to be even more attractive.  Besides, you need to identify and embrace who you are, what you´re worth of, what kind of people you want to meet, in single words, you start getting ready to date.

But before you start dating, you have to start by getting to know people. To do so, there are lots of things you normally do. The normal route is to start with friends of friends. You know, there´s always a nice friend that worries about you and tries to introduce you to people they find good for you.

Another source for dating would come out from the typical places people hang out.  Either you look for some party people, in which case the source would be a bar, disco, concert, etc. or you can also go for smart, and try to meet people at the theatre, art galleries, libraries, book stores etc. 

What normally happens is that you start meeting lots of people, but most of the cases, these people are not the kind of people you look for.  Sometimes this people is no interesting what so ever, or worse, are interesting but not ready for you.
Well, when it´s about job seeking, it also starts the same way. As I have discussed before, either because you´re sick of your company of your company is lets you go, you find yourself trying to hunt for a job, and I´m not exaggerating, I do mean Hunting. Depending upon the country, the economic situation and your personal circumstances, hunting could be from “I´ll see what´s out there for me” to “Damn, I must have a job by the end of the month”. 

The first step is normally to embrace the “job seeking mode”, which means that you must be positive, interesting and tough.  You probably start by shaping up your CV, creating a set of reusable cover letters and most of all, trying to figure out who you are, what you´re worth, what you want and where do you want to be some years from now. Furthermore, you have to be prepared for tricky questions, different corporate cultures, even some creepy recruiters.  In single words, just as you must be prepared to meet all kinds of people while dating.

You start by doing your smart search, contacting your friends, ex coworkers, college mates and old bosses just to spread the word about your new status.  They would certainly give you some advice on companies that are hiring. It´s probable that some of your friends  tell you about an opportunity that´s just perfect for you. Social networks seems to be the “new black” for this purpose.

The second source of job opportunities, of course, are the job posting websites. Those are the places where all the companies looking for talent are, right?.  Well, exactly as it could happen with dating out of bars and order places, chances are that you find all kind of things and most of them are not interesting at all.

Depending upon what you are (office manager, product manager, developer, project manager, marketer) chances are that you find jobs that are entitled as your current position but have nothing to do with what you do.  Chances are that you will have to prepare yourself to date and date over and over again, either when you want to meet a new love or a new job, so, be patient, because it takes time.

Let go from your job, just like being abandoned by the one you love

As I have explained before, most of the times you want to look for a new job while you´re still in your company. There you have learned stuff, probably gained a bunch of great friends and at some level, you have made it part of your life.

When this happens, well, a part of you feels guilty about the new opportunity, but in the other hand, if you look for something better, it is because you don´t find at home what you want, right?

But, what happens if it´s the other way around, if at some point your company just doesn´t want you anymore, maybe they cannot afford you, sometimes the strategy makes them get rid of you, or even worse, the company is forced to close due to economical, legal, managerial issues…a complete disgrace.

Well, I have been through this creepy situation at least three times. The first one, while I was so young, was because the American company I worked at decided to withdraw from the Ecuadorian market (damned macro economical instability). The second time, I decided to move to the “online world” and I got busted along with the 2000 internet bubble.

The third time, just about a month ago, my company decided that it was not such a good idea to have an IT provider located in Barcelona, to serve Canadian, US, UK and Asian iGaming platforms and websites.  Who was the idiot that had the big idea in the first place?

Anyways, when this happens, I suppose the sensation must be the same as when your partner tells you he/she doesn´t love you anymore.  "What? Me? I am great, how come you don´t want me anymore.  You´ll see, I will find someone 10 times better than you" …. And then the game begins. 

First step, you need mourn a little, you know, just to assimilate the new situation, take care of your finances, get a good idea on how to pass the information to the people that love you, they will certainly be worried about you.

Second, you do need to figure out who you are, what are your values, what are you good at. You need to learn to love yourself again so that others love you.  End of the day, if you´re the unloved , you need to be certain that you can overcome the situation, that you´re good , that you can do it again, and 10 times better.

It´s quite easy to say so, at some level it seems to be obvious, but reality is that, when you´re laid off by your company, as when you´re abandoned by your beloved one, you just have to fight hard to put yourself together and start all over again... and some times it seems to be just so complicated you don´t know even where to start...

Job seeking while still working, Is it like cheating on your partner?

First of all, let me explain who I am.  My name is Yess, I started working 15 years ago, so I would say I have been in the market for 15 years.  I have been working in marketing for the last 5, and during 4 I worked for one of the top most important internet companies of Spain, infojobs.net. So I would say that I know something about Jobs.

I am a girl, 36, married, and with some experience about dating, finding new people, falling in love, as any other woman my age can be.  Having experiences in both sides, I wanted to compare both words, because I see lots of similarities.

When I decided to change from one job to another, I have always found myself doing something I think most people must do when they cheat on their partners. 

I have always seen those scenes in movies or TV shows where the cheater hides away in order to receive a mysterious call from the lover, or doesn´t get home on time, or leaves early just to meet with the lover, the one that , for sure,  gives cheaters long hours of joy, sex, pleasure, etc.

Well, taking the sex away, I have found myself that looking for a job can be quite a lot like having an affair.

I have found myself receiving mysterious calls with the typical question “Are you available for a chat now”.  I have received and seen people receive them and just run to the street, to the bathroom or to a meeting room in the office just in order to have a quick yet very important conversation about a new job opportunity.

 I have also seen myself inventing mysterious doctor appointments, kid´s school meetings or sudden low sugar attacks in order to meet the recruiter, the HR manager, the one offering me the new job (the affair?).

I have also felt the rush, the joy and the stomach stretch when the recruiter has given me the final proposal…wow, pure pleasure, isn´t it?

 Well, I have always said that looking for a job is one of those hypocrite things you end up doing in order to grow as a professional.  Your company is the last one to know that you´re after a new opportunity, you will ALWAYS lie to them until the moment you find your big shot…in other words, your company turns out to be your partner, the one last to acknowledge that you´re having an affair.

I also think that unlike in human relations, it´s the right thing to do when you feel you´re not in the right place or when you feel this is the right timing to try a move.

To those of you seeking for your big shot, keep on doing it. In the end, it´s your future the only one that matters, right?